Nerds & Narwhals

I have added some comments, so feel free to re-read!

1.Races: Each race has it's own stat affects when we get into stats, but that is step 3. There are many more races/subraces that you could be turned into, but that comes later.
Average Joe(Human) Can be any alignment, they are your average stat-ers
Midgets(Gnomes) They are small and agile, but weak +2 Fitness, -1 Toughguy
Beefy Midgets(Dwarves) Small, stubborn, and hard to kill, great. +1 Manliness +1 Toughguy -1 agility
Tree-Huggers(Elves) Smart and Agile, easier to kill +1 Fitness, +1 Smarticleness, -1 toughguy
Naughty Tree-Huggers(Dark Elves) Same as the previous but generally hated, stronger too, almost always evil.
+1 Manliness, -1 Charm
Mean Green Killing Machines(Orcs) They are big,strong, and hardy, but very ugly and more often than not stupid
+ 2 Manliness -2 Charm

Every person will start with a random set of clothing, a random weapon, a random class-based item, a random support item, and three random special items, I have the three special items prepared via random.org, here was the list incase you were wondering


Bottomless Ziploc Baggie
Chuck Norris' Cell Phone Number
Smite
Instant Jello Mix
Cloak of Morality
A Couple of Strange Beans
Mutagen
Ray-Gun
Killer Jello Mix
Potion of Mid-life Crisis
Big Scroll of Strange Spells
Magic 8-Ball
Unusually large wad of counterfeit cash
Thy Holy Grail
Munch Munch's Bone
Jack-in-the-bomb 3x
Resonance Crystal


Derrick:
1 Smite- This ability does 999999 dmg to a selected target
A Bottomless Ziploc Baggie- You stuff infinty into this and it still wouldn't fill! Though, I guess it could be challenging to get things out of it.
Thy Holy Grail- What could you do with this?

Anthony:
A Resonance Crystal- Hmmmmm?
Potion of Mid-life Crisis- With this you can at any point you can switch you race and class, but you will get a random list of races and classes that could or could not have been on the original.
Magic 8-Ball- Should I give him this item?*shakes*

Jacob:
Jack-in-the-bomb 3x- It's funny isn't it?
Mutagen- When stuck into something it mutates it, in a good way and a bad!
Chuck Norris' Cell Phone Number- Many uses!

Classes, I shall give you 10, the eight generics, and then two randoms which will be sub-classes of the others.
Alignments: G=Good N=Neutral E=Evil Some are able to be all, but are more likely to be certain ones! With all Alignments you can twist and turn their abilities to match that alignment, like if you were a Evil Cleric, instead of heal wounds it would be cause wounds!

Brainless Bloodthirster(Warrior) Bonuses where it comes to physical dmg and hardiness, otherwise....G/N/E
Sneaky Conartist(Theif) Stealth and Stinginess are their thing, but up front fights, and well.... G/N/E
Ninja(ranger) Kungpow! Agility and fighting strength! Not as hardy though!G/N/E
Magical Nerd(Wizard) Super High Damage! Later on.. early game, squishy as jello! G/N/E
Rightious Fury!(Paladin) He is Hard to kill and somewhat magical! GOOD ONLY!
The Slighty less holy healer(Cleric) Support! Magical and possibly hard to kill! Can be G/N/E
Grand Treehugger(Druid) Magical, cannot use or wear anything metal, only neutral! Hard to play
BodyGuards(Guardian) A Tank! Super Hard to kill, lacking in other category's G/N/E
Specialties:
Show Off Sorcerer(Illusionist) This one will be the hardest to play, but very good later. Even more magic based than the Magical Nerd G/N/E
Magitech Engineer: He combines future,modern, and magical powers into one! Very General in abilties, can do high dmg! G/N/E

I know I did not give an evil only, but I didn't want too many classes, it would've been a necromancer, but maybe you can become one some other way!

Alignments:
Mains:
Goodie Two Shoes
Diabolical
Secondaries:
Indifferent
Rules schmooles!
Generally Ordered

Stats: You get five points to put in these base stats! You start with five in each, you can remove and add points to each of them, your races do affect it! Couldn't come up with better names for last two
Manliness(strength) Are you Strong?(Affects Melee attacks, what weapons you can use, and physical challenges)
Charm(Charisma) Are you Likeable? (Affects interactions with others, persuasion, etc.)
Smarticleness(Intelligence) Are you smart? (Affects spells and mental challenges)
Toughguy(Constitution) How much can you take? (Affects health and amount of damage you take)
Skillfulness(Dexterity) How skilled are you?(Affects hand-eye cordination, and what type of armor you can use)
Fitness(Agility) How Fast, sneaky, flexible, are you? (Affects speed, stealth, ranged weapons, criticals, etc.)
Will (Will) How strong can your mind hold out?(Affects mental defense, and some spells)
Luck (Luck) How lucky are you?(Affects general luck, and my kindness towards your character ;D )

I can't decide anything else until you guys go through these stats, when you do, and make your basic character, I will allow for everything else!

How aboutz:

Manliness(strength) Are you Strong?(Affects Melee attacks, what weapons you can use, and physical challenges)
Charm(Charisma) Are you Likeable? (Affects interactions with others, persuasion, etc.)
Smarticleness(Intelligence) Are you smart? (Affects spells and mental challenges)
Toughness(Constitution) How much can you take? (Affects health and amount of damage you take)
Mad Skills(Dexterity) How skilled are you?(Affects hand-eye cordination, and what type of armor you can use)
Ninja Skills(Agility) How Fast, sneaky, flexible, are you? (Affects speed, stealth, ranged weapons, criticals, etc.)
Stubborness(Will) How strong can your mind hold out?(Affects mental defense, and some spells)
General Awesomeness (Luck) How lucky are you?(Affects general luck, and my kindness towards your character ;D )

No character sheet? D:

Make it yerself! I gave you the things to make it with! Geez!

My character will be up tonight

Here is mine! We will have to update these every time we level up, and update out inventory on another list for everytime we interact with items! I regret giving Derrick the smite now, he might smite us at the start, which in turn I would smite Derrick using GM powers and then someone would be left all alone, and I would have to smite them in pity.

Name: Meltzer The Gutbuster
Level: 1
Race: Beefy Midget (Dwarf) +1 M, +1 T, -1 N
Class: Bodyguard
Alignment: Goodie Two-shoes, Rules Schmooles!( Chaotic Good)

Manliness(strength) 8
Charm(Charisma) 5
Smarticleness(Intelligence) 5
Toughness(Constitution) 7
Mad Skills(Dexterity) 6
Ninja Skills(Agility) 4
Stubborness(Will) 6
General Awesomeness (Luck) 5

Inventory: This will be unavailble until I make the Starting Shop for you to buy weapons, armor, etc. or gamble in the box of mysteries for a possibly better or worse version of an item you already bought! However we already have our ultimate items, so those go here!

Jack-in-the-bomb 3x- It's funny isn't it?
Mutagen- When stuck into something it mutates it, in a good way and a bad!
Chuck Norris' Cell Phone Number- Many uses!

Appearance: Can't be done until we buy stuff,unless you want to describe your character naked, which I would prefer you not do.

Description: Meltzer is a toughguy, he is willing to rip you limb from limb for a candy bar, among other things. Staying in his basement playing video games for years, he downloaded a pirated copy that somehow sucked him into this parallel dimension of chaos. He managed to grab some in-game items among the way! He prefers hand to hand combat, using his armor and body as a weapon, through the use of many spikes, gauntlets, etc.

Say 'ello to Elofonsin the Mildly Ravenous!

Name: Elofonsin the Mildly Ravenous
Level: 1
Race: Naughty Treehugger (Dark Elf) +1 M, -1 C
Class: Magitech Engineer
Alignment: Goodie Two-shoes, Rules Schmooles!( Chaotic Good)

Manliness(strength) 8
Charm(Charisma) 5
Smarticleness(Intelligence) 5
Toughness(Constitution) 7
Mad Skills(Dexterity) 6
Ninja Skills(Agility) 4
Stubborness(Will) 6
General Awesomeness (Luck) 5

Inventory: A Resonance Crystal- Hmmmmm?
Potion of Mid-life Crisis- With this you can at any point you can switch you race and class, but you will get a random list of races and classes that could or could not have been on the original.
Magic 8-Ball- Should I slurp now???*shakes and proceeds to slurp*

Appearance: Alright, alright, I won't talk about his physique here.

Description: Elofonsin was your average joe, until he learned how to eat. He can't stop. Not now. Not ever. Aside from eating he enjoys smashing things, then putting them back together. After a while his parents decided to lock him in a room full of all sorts of nerd gadgets before he tried to put a person back together. While in this room for a total of 4 minutes he assembled a suit of nerdy awsomeness armor(no effect in-game Jacob, just decorative).

You have the exact same stats then me.. jerk.. but it's all excepted.

Name: Bob, That Elf Guy Across The Street
Level: 1
Race: Tree Hugger (Elf) +1 N +1 S -1 T
Class: Show-Off Sorcerer (Illusionist)
Alignment: Somewhat Diabolical, Generally Ordered (Somewhat Orderly Evil)

Manliness(strength) 4
Charm(Charisma) 5
Smarticleness(Intelligence) 9
Toughness(Constitution) 4
Mad Skills(Dexterity) 5
Ninja Skills(Agility) 6
Stubborness(Will) 7
General Awesomeness (Luck) 6

Inventory:

1 Smite- This ability does 999999 dmg to a selected target
A Bottomless Ziploc Baggie- You stuff infinty into this and it still wouldn't fill! Though, I guess it could be challenging to get things out of it.
Thy Holy Grail- What could you do with this?

Appearance: Dang it! I wanted to describe my character's body in vivid and full detail..Mmmyesss...*Slurp* Lol just jking.

Description: Bob is a mighty mage, descended from long line of magical nerds and creepy shut-ins that never leave the house. Magicalness runs through his veins. He was named after one of his ancient ancestors, Bob the Awesome Magical Dude Across the Dirt Path. Like his ancestor, he lives in the ancestral home of the Guys and Gals Who Live Across the Street. This place is right across from The Street. Bob is very smart and nerdy, and is ridiculed for his nerdiness. Unfrotunately, this usually ends up in fireballs plummeting to the ground in an Armageddon-like situation. Now, Bob will embark on an epic journey to become famous and stuff, because he's a vain over-ambitious jerk. THE END.

Excepted. Bleh.

I shall begin creating A list of store items and give you guys a set amount of gold to spend on them. I have already made lists of randomized events, lands, adventures, etc.

Here are some, no costs have been prepared, and these are only starting ideas, not all effects prepared, and only standard items, more will be avalible---
Apparel:
Nerd's Robes:( Red,Blue,green,white, purple, pink, or black, pick!)
Pussies Cloth Armor:
Clever Chris' Chainmail:
Meathead's Metalmail:
Nerd's Necklace:
Mood Ring:
Ninja robes:
Magitek Targeting Visor:
Cybernetic Life support suit:
Warmonger's Gauntlets:
Meatheads Scalp Spike helmet:
Weapons---
Nerf Maverick:
Manly Mace:
Rusted Scalp Splitter(sword):
Handy Mandy's Talking Hammer:
Needlessly large rod:
Rotting Excalibat(worst bat, excalibat is the best one.. but you may never find it!):
Shanking Shiskebob:


I have yet to make any others, there will be effects when I make a system for it, and there will be many more items, give me input on them!

Yeah, don't rush us getting into this, I will problably not have it all ready until sometime in or after winter break.
The Portal of Parodies is a land we have made up together, and I will try to fit it into the world I am creating so far. It will have mario, pacman, pokemon, star wars, and sonic areas, each with their own twists and parodies. You will find items here that you will never find anywhere else, be them items that were actually in it, or my own sick parodies of those items.

How many points can we distribute to our stats?

EDIT:
And as it seems that there will be some time before the game starts, I shall to try to invite a friend of mine to play. His name is Ricky (although that won't mean much).

EDIT EDIT: No need to answer my question... I have found it...

Alright, and it looks like we will be missing school today and tommorrow! Huzzah!

I have decided against the starting store and will give everyone their armor and weapons, making it easier on me, as I was having trouble coming up with stats for the items, but giving you each specific items will give me more room to add comedy, don't worry, there will be actual stores in the game!

Edit: I am currently coming up with items and their funny relations: all the game info will be stored in an in game manual called,
Book-O-Stats: The things you wanted to know about things you didn't want to know about.
Some other utility items:
Fortune Cookies: The Perfect way to gain magical information by eating cookies you find randomly in the forest.
Gold: Shiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnneeeeeeee
Drumstick: Pure delicious avain leg.
Witch Doctor's Health Pot (not potion, pot): You can possibly accept the authenticity of this item.
Outhouse: If you ever happen to die, you can revive your self( with unknown consequences) at an outhouse. Some people have even managed to be able to travel long distances between them without setting foot in the outside world. Don't ask me how.
Lost and Found: Any important item you may pass by or forget to pick up will somehow find it's way here. I don't know how, pixies maybe, yeah, let's go with pixies.
Vicious Chicken Lips: How else do chickens whistle?
Killer Plant immunity potion: Also known as weed killer in some locations.

Some weapons:
Cleaver of Cleaving: Allows you to hit more than one enemy at a time! What a time saver!
Hatchet: Time to bury the hatchet, inside your enemies!
Thunderstorm Clap: Give em the boot! (it is a rotting leather boot attachted to a stick in the shape of a hammer)
Rusted Sword: A spiffy melee attack!
Simple Bow: This weapon allows to to hit people at a slightly farther range than your three foot short sword! A gives a fufilling sting when it smacks your arm after every shot!

Armor:
Shoulders of the veteran: A slightly scratched improvement to your original pair. Come in a full coustume of veteran items, each with their own fun description
Meatheads Metalmail: Who wouldn't trust 100 pounds of strangling, heavy, exhausting metal covering only the chest portion of their body?
Peasants Rags: You wearing clothing? I thought that was dirt.
Pussies Brick Wall Shield: A magically infused chunk of abrick wall which has been weakened and only slightly lighter than the original thing. At least it's good for smacking people.

Characters:
'Wurfday Party Goblin: He was celebrating his birthday. Then you went and stabbed him through the heart, leveling up.
Choclate Pudding: It oozes, it whoozes, it's whats left over from lunch!
Vicious Chicken: It eats dragon babies. Period.
Stoopid Chicken: Run-of-the-mill cross the road kind of chicken
Joe, that guy that lives under the street: Being a hermit as long as Bob and his ancestors have lived across the street, has been long gone to for information and black market drugs. No one can tell whether either of them are still legitimate.


And otherwise I am keeping it a secret, though there are many more weapons,utilities, and armor that I have made up.
Fear the 4th most feared tyrant, Jimbo The Belligerent Landlord! I am comign up with characters, you see, and this is my first "leader roll" kind of guy.

I am going to make the Roleplay thread soon even though we will not use it for awhile.

I SLURP AT THE NEW STUFFZ SLURPZ LOLZ TROLLOLOLOL KTHXBAI.

Bob, That Elf Guy Across The Street Show Off Sorcerer Lvl 1: Street Card trickster
You Don't have to use the items I give you, but I suggest you do, there is only one you might not want to.
Stats w/items and Attributes: These Are all I really need to put.. If you're wondering about other stats I will put them.

Hp:50 (0 + 0)
Mana: 48 (Mana is Affected by Will, not Intelligence)(0 + 30 + 18) Regens with items or logn periods of time.
Weapon Damage : 4
Crit Chance: 1% (1 + 0)
Other: Crappy Fire Resistance
Magic Dmg Bonus: 9
Persuation Skill: 45% (This is your base, it will change based on the person and actions towards them, helps you haggle among other things.)

You Start with:
Magical Color Changing Nerd Robes: (Clothing) Unfortunately, you can't control the color, it is based off mood, so don't be surprised if they turn pink. No Defense Properties, +10 Mana
A Deck Of Cards:( Magical Item) This Deck Of Cards gives you a little bit of magical pazazz. +20 Mana, +3 MG DMG
Wet Sandals: These wet Sandals Make it slightly harder for you to catch fire. On your feet. Crappy fire resistance
Nerd Glasses: Yay! Vision in exchange for charisma! +1 MG DMG, - 5% Persuasion
Light-Up Fairy Wand: Go Enchant Cinderalla you Wanna'be. +5 MG DMG
Book-O-Stats: Everything you wanted to know about everything you didn't want to know about.
61 Gold Pieces
1x Witch Doctor's Health Pot: This is possibly reliable. + 60 instant hp
1x Drumsticks: Pure, delicious avain leg. +30 hp over time

And one starting ability for your class, along with another which you will pick:
You Get a... "FireCracker": Sort of like a fireball, only louder,brighter, and smaller. 3 MG DMG, costs 5 mana

Pick From:
Minor Nightvision: Better for twilight, best used in daylight. -2 mana, lasts 2 posts, just allows you to examine things better in the dark.
Minor Evil Eye: I seeee you! Places a vision ward in a random location, lasts until recollected or purged, unlike other evil eyes, it is more like a picture camera, and takes pictures instead of letting you use a crystal ball to see what it sees. -20 mana
Brain Fart: Meh. Allows you to stun an enemy for 1 post, lowering their intelligence by 2 for 3 posts -5 mana
Minor Jesus Enchantment: You can walk on water for a distance of 10 feet. - 40 mana
Essence of Poke: Pokes an enemy, distracting them for one post and doing 1 MG DMG, -5 mana

My official stats are as follows, please read through as there are many changes:

Name: Elofonsin the Unsparingly Impish
Level: 1
Race: Naughty Treehugger (Dark Elf) +1 M, -1 C
Class: Magitech Engineer
Alignment: Diabolical, Generally Ordered

Manliness(strength) 5
Charm(Charisma) 5
Smarticleness(Intelligence) 6
Toughness(Constitution) 5
Mad Skills(Dexterity) 7
Ninja Skills(Agility) 6
Stubborness(Will) 5
General Awesomeness (Luck) 6

Inventory: A Resonance Crystal- Hmmmmm?
Potion of Mid-life Crisis- With this you can at any point you can switch you race and class, but you will get a random list of races and classes that could or could not have been on the original.
Magic 8-Ball- Must I ask you a yes or no question? *shakes* *8-ball blows up*

Appearance: Elofonsin is a slim tall Naughty Treehugger with long black hair and blue eyes. He is rather pale.

Description: Elofonsin was a normal Naughty Treehuggerling for most of his childhood, until an incident where three apparitions convinced him to be evil and miserly he became evil and miserly!!! At least that's what he tells people, but it is common belief of his former friends and family that he ate some bad pine nuts. No one can be sure of the truth, though we do know the effects of his transformation. Elofonsin now spends most of his days configuring, tinkering, and constructing gizmos. These are not some child's plaything, though, these gizmos are designed to wreak havoc unto a given person's life. They make milk sour and make tree-houses smell like man-feet! But that is not all, one was even crafted to give an enemy of his a wet willy!!! Clearly he is out of control. Perhaps a good, life threatening adventure will set him straight...

Good. I mean evil. Your Items are being prepared so if you have any requests, questions, or other things I will not consider while typing feel free to message me.

You changed the Magic 8-ball description. By doing this you have hurt my feelings and thus I flee to the emo corner.

Can you likez, gives to mez the essencez of pokzorz ability so i Cn SPamZorz enemies and PokE them TROLOOLOLOLOLOSLDFfsal;fdmsg;l SPAM.

Your second ability has been chosen. Not that it does anything but annoy.

Hey you! In the Emo Corner! That's the second time I've changed it. Look through the thread. I'll change it back on the actual char sheet.

meh.

Elofonsin, The Mildly Impish, Lvl 1 MGtech engineer: Manual Reader
Hp:51 (0 + 1)
Mana: 11 (0 + 0 +1 ) .
Weapon Dmg : 6
Crit Chance: 1% (1 + 0)
Other: Crappy modern dmg resistance
Magic Dmg Bonus:
Persuation Skill: 50%

Items:
Stained Apron: Covered in a huge black oil stain, this crappy rag has had enough experiance to take the nastiest of industrial stains. Crappy Modern damage resistance, +1 Mana
Saftey Goggles: Your mom told you to bring these, to which you replied.. "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!" and walked out.+1 Hp
Book-O-Stats: Everything you wanted to know about everything you didn't want to know about.
Abused Fire Extinguisher: It's almost empty from overuse. 6 phys. dmg, unreduced
4 Scrap Metal: refined version of junkyard metal, 3 of these combined makes slightly refined metal.
6 Junkyard metal: Useless scrap, 3= scrap metal, 12 can be made into a cube, which can be recycled or smelted into different forms through different machines.
63 Gold
1x Homemade Nanobot Potion: These homemade nanobots are about the size of large blood clots. +70 hp
1x Buzzy's Alchoholic energy drink: The ingrediants somewhat counteract each other. +10 mana points, 2 drunkiness
Idiot's guide to crafting: Take Sticky substance, apply sticky substance to both objects, attatch objects to each other with sticky substance.

Skills:
Craftiness: Allows you to combine(or "craft" objects
Build Contraptions: Allows you to build contraptions, your main source of damage.

Contraptions:
Dastardly Water Sprinkler: This diabolical machine sprays innocent children with annoying water, getting their clothes wet and slightly annoying them. This sprinkler is so dastardly, it waters grass at an evil rate! 4 dmg to enemies, lowers their defense by 1, 30% chance to make enemies flee.
Pick From:
Rusted Alarm Clock: This contraption lacks a sleep button, how evil! Prevents your enemies from blocking or attacking for one "turn".
Object-chucker-of-doom-5000: Some of the more snobby people in the universe call these slingshots.Launches chosen objects at enemies. Depending on what objects or items you decide to put in it affects what it does to enemies.
Tinkerer's Savvy: Your desire to repair your machines of destruction let's you build better items and repair objects.
Untinkerer's Savvy: Your vast want to destroy things allows you to take apart combined and smithed objects.
Weak Haggler Bot: Makes all items cost 25 gold less

I will email both of you on mechanics of your chosen class and the game.

Nice! I choose the Ocd (Hehe) 5000!